So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
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