I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
