NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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