i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
