You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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