are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
