**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
