that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
