I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
