So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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