i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
