Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
