It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
