i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
