Taylor Swift is so right about you.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
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