so let's talk penis.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
