i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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