North Korea, Best Korea!
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Randomize