what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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