It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
