I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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