Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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