I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
