my sisters under your porch take her home
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
