I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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