Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
