I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
