I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
