I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
