I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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