he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
