i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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