theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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