Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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