i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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