Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
