She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
