That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
