So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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