I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
...so i touched it.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
