I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
