I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
