I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Blood and glitter go together right?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm too high and old for this...
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
