just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I love how my cats smell like pot.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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