turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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