We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
