i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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