I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
