when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
