He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
