They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
How external is "for external use only"?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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