Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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