They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
