I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
