i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
She just used a chaser for red wine.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
