hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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