I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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