she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
