it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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